Hello again my friends...over here...hey!...it's me...over here. I know what it is, you haven't looked here for so long, you forgot that I even showed up here anymore. I'll admit that some serious time has passed since I last signed in and it would be easy now to asign blame and point fingers.To be honest, I do feel a little guilty. Some of you may even hold me at fault. I know I could have called or sent a post card or maybe even come to your house and made a sandwich...but what would that have proved (other than that I was probably hungry)....if it makes you feel any better, tonight I will go without a second helping of dessert and then deprive myself of an excellent Cuban cigar...now do you feel better ?(you bastards)... but let's face it...we've spent time apart before and we've always managed to get back together. So let's put an end to all recrimination and get to the good stuff....This weeks missive is about love and change....and the many forms they take. But we'll get to that in a minute. First of all let me wish you all the very best of holidays. And I know that for some of you it's not just a time of presents and partying...it's also a time to re-connect with your maker. So whether your belief is traditional ( Allah, Jesus, Buddah) or like guitar player Rich Bartlett, a bit more unorthodox (Mighty Behobeth Demon Eater of Souls)....I wish you the peace (or pieces) you seek....Now as to where I was...there's a bit of a story coming up...so let's all do what we have to do to get in the proper story receiving frame of mind...put on your fuzzy slippers...snuggle up in your computer chairs (I know--just about impossible)....and..okay..who has to to go to the bathroom?...well hurry up...we'll wait..............................................................................................................................okay..now we're ready....the reason I was missing in action for so long was because I was in Japan on a promotional tour. 'huh'...you say...''Mike are you boning us' you ask? No my friends I am not boning you (well...not all of you),-I really did just return from Japan [note the interesting use of a parentheses, a comma and a hyphen in the last sentence]...In truth some of this whole nutty 'fame' thing has been out of our control. Who would have thought that the Japanese would go crazy for a song like Psycho Chicken. Not me...but they did. Years ago when it came out they didn't want to hear about anything else....okay I must confess that in some ways we did 'grease the wheels' as it were. If memory serves we put out a special version done phonetically in Japanese, and we did change some of the words that roughly translate to a sushi chef chasing a fish around the kitchen 'Psycho fishy...Banzaii!'....pandering...okay maybe...but the thing that really put us over the top was the fact that we had an honest to god, dyed in the wool blond guy in the band! Stacey Pedrick....and not only that - but also a reddish blond headed guy-Rich Bartlett! It's long been known in rock and roll that if you want to make it in Japan you've either got to have some attitude....or you've got to be blond. We had hit paydirt with both. Our trips to Japan were nightmares...blond rock stars are like spanish fly to the Japanese. It got so Stacey and Rich couldn't leave the hotel in Tokyo. Imagine how I was affected by this; Mr. Bigshot Lead Singer and nobody wants to talk to me unless I tell them Rich and Stacey stories. In a fit of ego-deflation I found myself making up stories about them for the ever voracious Japanese press. I said that Rich had been married three times and was an idolater (hey..it sounded bad when they said it in the bible)...and I told them that Stacey was blind in one eye and cursed with flatulence....but no matter how I lied it only seemed to make the fandom crazier. In honor of Stacey, thousands came to one show wearing gas masks and eye patches. It's now to the point, even all these years later, where neither Rich nor Stacey can travel anywhere in the Far East without a privately trained swat team....at this stage...what's the point. Stacey, smartly, stays away. Rich, on the other hand...or Simbona Aribeeso as he is known (roughly translates to 'taunt us with your hair)..likes to regularly test the waters---showing up on Japanese talk shows and even some tv commercials. But when they need someone to speak for the band...it falls to me...or Oshkoto Rimbata as I am known (The Other Guy). I am guaranteed not to cause riots or any type of fan craziness because it's not me they want. But I deal with it as well as can be expected. And since I'm there and can sadly travel free from adoration, I'm able to indulge my first love (okay second...okay third....okay top ten)... archaeology. It so happens that an ancient city (maybe 8000 bc.!) has recently been discovered in 100 feet of water not far off the coast of Japan. With the help of some Japanese Fools fans (whom I regailed with some juicy Rich and Stacey stories) I was able to make the trip down the coast to the underwater city. And I say 'city' because the structures run an estimated 300 miles along what was probably the coast about 10,000 years ago!! You see, at that time much of the world was still covered in ice from the last major ice age and therefore the world sea levels were as much as 200 feet lower than they are now. But who knew that real world class cities existed that long ago (the current thinking is that we were still in caves back then). And when I say world class---I ain't kidding. One structure is 600 feet wide and 90 feet high! It appears to be a temple of some sort and it's in amazing shape considering its' age (kinda like me). As we dove down under water to get a first hand look at site, I couldn't help but think of how all our cares and concerns seem petty when stacked up against this enormous ediface. I also thought of all the people who had lived, loved and died in the last 10,000 years while this temple has basically remained unchanged.I even began to feel bad about some of the Rich and Stace lies I had told my hosts (examples: Rich has a huge sebacious cyst on his back...Stacey collects elephant droppings). By the time I was climbing back into the boat, I was thinking of all the people I had known and loved, some still around, some gone...and how maybe we were as equal in all our needs and craziness as any person alive 10,000 years ago. It led me to this thought that someone I love and respect once told me..'forget regret or life is yours to miss...no day but today'.......Merry christmas Fools fans...and I hope to see you all at the new years eve show....until then...adios amigos.....Mike..... * If you want to learn more about the underwater city just google the word Yonaguni which is the name of the small island nearest that monstrous underwater building.