Posted January 1st 2004
Burp**`~~ohh#!~~shit!!~~damn,.,.......oh......crap.....I knew I was supposed to be out of bed by now...oh.hi.er...Fools fans...sorry my hair's all messed up.... I hate it when you see me like this...it's gonna take a second to get this together....scratch***.....fart******!!.... Okay ...now I'm ready.... Hi there my friends.... And you are my friends...you've stuck with me through late messages, bad songs, and extremely late c.d. releases. I know I could give you lame excuses for all of it but I like you too much to do that, so let's just say that you people deserve better and you're not getting it from us. For those of you who pre-ordered our latest CD only to find that we have no sense of time or embarrassment, I beg your forgiveness and promise you that we will make it up to you. And for those of you who wonder why we would have a site at all if we don't take care of it, all I can say is that---no.1, Jeff the Webguy is totally blameless and has been only a force for good, and no.2 what is probably the real problem here is that we are a rock band---yes ---a rock band---and damn it, that means we're bonified nit-wits to begin with. Would you ever invest your money in a bank called We're Drunken Rock Stars Limited, or better yet, would you ever ask advice from a company called We Sleep Till Noon...No I think not. And yet, once again, I am so sorry that we didn't live up to our part of the deal because, in some cases, we're not drunk and in other cases we're definitely up before noon. So where do we go from here? Other than once again promising untold extra riches to those who pre-ordered our stuff, I feel that my job, as always, has been to enlighten and entertain. .. Here goes.... I recently received an e-mail from someone claiming to have 'secret' info about the plot of land that the Fools Mansion was built on. Some talk of Indian burial grounds. And okay, Ipswich is certainly one of the oldest towns in Massachusetts if not America and I'd be lying if I said those repressive nut-whacks we call the Pilgrims didn't knock down, build on, Or defile every 'pagan' place they could find [I'm not lying--get it?]. But our spot is not one of them. Our mansion was actually built on landfill bordering lovely Ipswich Bay, which is why, over the years; we've had to keep adding new stories to the ever-sinking edifice. The mansion was at first only 3 stories tall but over the years, at least another 3 stories have been added just to keep our heads above water. And the Great Spirit knows we would not intentionally desecrate any cool place [I am as proud of my Mic Mac blood as Rich is proud of his Cherokee]. I know you think I'm 'boning' you now [boning as in I'm putting the bone to you] about my Indian blood but there are some things even I don't lie about. I tell you now as your leader that the best thing you can do for your mental health in the coming year is to find out where an Indian Pow Wow is held and then go check it out. It will make you feel gooood! Ah well.... They can't all be funny.... Adios amigos...mike
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