Posted July 14th 2003
Verities est noblat'...According to my phony baloney book of 'Latin Sayings For Every Occasion' this means 'truth is good.' Ah...but is truth good? And do you always tell the truth? 'Yes,!' you say..'truth is good, truth is the best, truth is where it's at.' But what would you say if I told you that not only is truth overrated but that I myself have lied to you a couple of times...okay more than a couple of times...okay on countless occasions...okay almost all the time. Are you stunned? Are you shocked? Are you about ready to cough up your lunch? 'No Mike,..not you!!' Yes Fools fans even me, and if you're going to cough it up, take it outside because the rest of us are going to talk about the truth about the truth. What, You can't handle the truth?!?! (about the truth)? This is a tough subject for all of us. I was brought up Catholic and I even had to worry that some tame compliment about my Aunt Helen’s ugly hat would send me to hell. (okay maybe not the big HELL but at least a smaller hell, and let's face it hell is hell). And, sadly enough, once you stick your toe into even one tiny corner of the lying pond (do ponds have corners?) it starts to get easier. Pretty soon you're wading out into the 'I can't come to work today because I'm really (cough) sick' part of the lying pond, or the 'Gee I meant to call you but I lost your number' part of the lying pond. Jeez, what a pond. Okay let's face it we all fib a bit, and me more than most. You're probably to the point now where you don't know if you should believe anything I've ever told you. So here goes...today I'm going to tell you only the Gods' honest truth, at least about 3 things.
1. I really do know a guy who shot dump rats in L.A. with Keith Richard
(and at 3:00 in the morning).
2. I once saw a UFO. I was 16 and living in Ipswich and I watched it
hover behind my house with 3 other people (the people were watching, not hovering)
until about sunrise.
3. Once when I was on stage (a crazy night at Grovers' in Beverly) I
jumped up and when I came down I whacked my hand down hard on the stage. But
someone had left their beer mug at my feet and my middle finger went right through
it. I thought I had cut my finger off but when I looked down the mug had a vee
shaped piece missing where my finger had passed through it...no bullshit.
Ah the power of rock n' roll.....that's enough truth for now (this honesty thing
is wearing me out), so until next week ...adios amigos....Mike
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